What would you do if you were hired to photograph a friend’s wedding and not allowed to eat?
Reddit always has an array of amusing personal stories, and this is no different. In this case, a hungry photographers deletes all photos he took throughout a long wedding day because he felt he was being mistreated. You be the judge on what should be done!
His post starts out…”A friend got married a few days ago and wanting to save money, asked if I’d shoot it for them. I told him it’s not really my forte but he convinced me by saying he didn’t care if they were perfect: they were on a shoestring budget and I agreed to shoot it for $250, which is nothing for a 10 hour event.”
Immediately, the red flags go up as we read through this post. As wedding photographers, we avoid mixing our careers with the weddings of friends & family – it just doesn’t go well, especially when money is added into the mix.
In this case, looking to a friend as an opportunity to save some money might seem fine on the surface, but ends up severely undervaluing the skill and time of the photographer…and can end up with the photographer feeling a bit burned (whether rightfully or not).
Of course, everyone will do what they do. If you agree to a small fee for a big, you accept the small sum in exchange for all of the time, responsibility and skill required to document the event.
The story doesn’t stop there, though!
He continues…”I started around 11am and was due to finish around 7:30pm. Around 5pm, food is being served and I was told I cannot stop to eat because I need to be photographer; in fact, they didn’t save me a spot at any table. I’m getting tired and at this point kinda regretting doing this for next to nothing.”
There’s a lot to unpack here. On one hand, most professional wedding photographers shouldn’t expect food service unless it’s something they’ve included in their contracts (and it is pretty common to do that!). On the other hand, any reasonable person would expect that if you are a “friend”, you’d be fed.
“I told the groom I need to take off for 20min to get something to eat and drink. There’s no open bar or anything, I can’t even get water and my two water bottles are long empty.”
Okay – this is all pretty weird and not professional behavior. Maybe not the best move, especially with a few hours left “on the clock”.
“He tells me I need to either be photographer, or leave without pay.”
Got a good laugh at this…mostly because this statement really clears the air as to the photographers relationship with the couple. The photographer is not exactly acting professional at this point with saying he’s going to go off site for a while, but he also wasn’t exactly paid as a professional, but rather as a friend.
Not to mention, not accepting any pay upfront just sets this up for situations like this where a photographer is working an extended period of this time (at this point – at least 6 hours + travel). As we learn – this has the potential to go wrong for both parties, though…
He wraps up his post…”With the heat, being hungry, being generally annoyed at the circumstances, I asked if he was sure, and he said yes, so I deleted all the photos I took in front of him and took off saying I’m not his photographer anymore. If I was to be paid $250, honestly at that point I would have paid $250 just for a glass of cold water and somewhere to sit for 5min.”
So…here we have it: a hungry photographer deletes all photos and calls it a day…
He asks Reddit for an opinion of whether or not he was justified or in the wrong. Here’s what some people had to say:
“My wedding photographer not only got a seat but a full meal and was a paid guest at my wedding. He goofed around with everyone else and helped make it a better celebration and helped with making it more fun which only enhanced the pics . Bride and groom sound like entitled”
“My photographer and my DJ both got full meals. Photographer was a friend of mine and I was getting the “friends and family” discount, so you’d better believe I treated him like royalty for doing me such a solid. DJ wasn’t a friend of mine, but like, he’s there for hours too, and of course he’s going to be hungry. Like, why wouldn’t you make sure they eat?”
“My wedding photographer was pregnant at the time and didn’t make a big deal out of it, but my husband and I would periodically ask if she needed anything at all. And of course she got a seat and full meal. Just because you pay someone to do a job (not that OP was being fairly) doesn’t mean they are servants and deserve to be treated like garbage. Also sidenote, never skimp on the photographer.”
“And they REALLY took advantage of OP. Not only is $250 for the event literally nothing, but most wedding photographers are protected by a contract that gives them time to sit, drink water, and ensure at least one plate of food is saved for them.”
“He told you to leave without pay and you called his bluff.”
“Was what you did petty? Absolutely. And it’s a general rule of thumb to never make big decisions when you’re grieving or hangry. But these “friends” of yours were terrible. Complete cheapskate AH’s and the groom was a groomzilla. There is no pass for how they treated you. But again, your behaviour was justified, but still AH behaviour.”
Looking through the comments – almost everyone sided with the photographer. Which is interesting in it’s own way since usually posts on Reddit get a lot more of a mixed response. So – take from that what you will.
If you’re planning a wedding, be sure to feed the photographer – especially if they’re your friend and helping you out!
See the full Reddit post here!